Remaining Focused when its Hard in Life

*Disclaimer: Thank you to all that visit and read my blog.  I really appreciate you, the reader, for allowing me to share my thoughts.  Please see the like or interesting or cool comments beneath the blog.

Okay, so like many people in life, I may or may not have the best of weeks, days, hours, minutes all the time.  We all are faced with challenges that are "real to us."  I make that statement because everyone has a reality particular to themselves.  This isn't relativity of truth but relativity of life.  Truth is truth and a constant or fact.  That is entirely different.  Yes people use the phrase, "my truth," but I am one who believes truth has no inclusive properties.  If it's raining, it is raining.  It's not almost raining or about to be raining, but it is raining.

At present, I am attempting to get caught up on assignments for my program track.  However, life happens and you can't forecast it all.  Yes, you can make reasonable judgments to guide you, but no one knows the future.  I can, honestly, say that I didn't know I would be where I am right now last week, but life happens.

How does one stay focused when it seems that life is causing them to come unfocused?  I am thankful for purpose.  Purpose is one of those things that is a catalyst for life.  People say how do you stay calm?  Why should I argue or raise my voice or try to control situations beyond my control.  I can control me but I can't control you.  I can react to you but I can't control you.  Yes, people can manipulate you or can they?  I would say that one can attempt to manipulate but it takes the other party to be compliant in order for it to work, whether by force or persuasion.

What do I mean?  If you don't have anything I want, then you can't manipulate me or deceive me or persuade me.  In NY there is a subway game called, "three card molly."  The street merchant tries to persuade people to look under three cards and find a bead or marble or whatever.  So many people get conned by this little game.  It's amazing to watch people lose money in a con they don't have to do.  What factors in on this?  They believe they can get something they don't have and risk something they do as a trade off.  

I don't lose money on this game no matter how many times the merchant asks me to play.  Why?  He/she doesn't have anything I want.  I can get my money another way and I don't want theirs.  Do you see the focus?

Focus and desire can help you stay on point in life.  When people say whatever about you, but you know the truth, as the scriptures say to "buy the truth and sell it not," you can allow it to be said.  I have remained steadfast in my opinion that people are fickle and if you put your trust in the opinion of people you will be sorely disappointed in life.  At some point you must know who you are and be comfortable in you as a person.  That may entail allowing people to formulate opinions true or untrue about you.  

The question that results is:  Will people's opinion of you alter you in the way you go about your life in a positive fashion?  The Contemporary English Version of the Bible writes, "...Jesus knew what was in their hearts, and he would not let them have power over him." [John 2:24]  Opinions can matter but when opinions take control of who you are that is a tragedy.  I don't think that would be freedom if someone wanted to control you?  I don't think that is healthy.  I don't think it is even nice.

The example there is actually pretty unique considering the way we live our lives.  Culture and society has a direct influence upon us.  People have cliques and friends that sway them everyday.  They also can sway people's opinions against you.  James 3:16 uses the Greek word, "eritheia."  It's called politicking or putting one's self forward.  Seriously.  Then there is life.  As you see things can get blurry and complicated.  It's the nature of life.

My thoughts that keep me grounded is becoming the person I want to be.  I like to concentrate on the word BECOMING.  That is a process.  When life gets hard I reflect on that more than at other times.  Purpose comes into the forefront of mind and heart.  I am human like anyone else.  Things that help along the way is acknowledgement that I am not my own.  I can't just do what I want.  Thinking about my connection to God stabilizes me and I work through my thoughts with that in mind.  Here's the deal; no one gets to see that conversation or the depth and struggle of it, but you and God.

Back to purpose.  I believe ultimately that I am alive for a purpose.  That purpose plays out in my life and affects everything else whether I am right or wrong.  People have a connection as well, and when they don't align I have choices to make like anyone else.  That is why purpose is such a strong catalyst for your life.  If you know it, you have an equilibrium that you can fall back on.  

The worst thing you can be is a jellyfish just floating along in life not knowing where you will end up.

 Things that help me:

• Faith
• Real Friends
• goals
• Knowing what is true and what is not
• humility
• the sun is out even if it raining or cloudy or dark
• tomorrow will come
• looking back to where I have come from so far
• is this the worst thing that can happen and what if it is
• I won't always hurt
• encouragement
• value of self and others

These are just a few of my thoughts.  For example, I am behind in work due to life.  I can sulk or work?  Regardless of what I do, I am behind.  What will help me get caught up?  Do you see the decision?  

I don't have all the answers for this life at all, and will be the first to admit it.  This is what I do know, that pitying and pouting is not for me.  I believe that God gave me love, power, a sound mind, and the ability to discern between right and wrong.  When life gets hard I want to be the type of person that doesn't let my emotions, which can be healthy if exhibited the right way at that right time for the right reason, control me.  You have to be like David who said, "I will [that involves volition or choice] bless [action] the Lord [subject] at all times [process].  

I will be involved by my will and take action as a process in order to remain focused on the things I can control, and let my feelings follow after, which they will anyway.

If you let what people:

• say about you
• think about you
• infer about you
• project on you
• feel about you
• portray about you

dictate your life or feelings, it will be a long life filled with indecision and emotional instability, and a bunch of why me, omgoodness, are you serious, for real, you got to be kidding me, not again, and many other phrases.

You will not be you anymore, but a picture of someone else's creation.  Furthermore, if you let what happens to you, define what you do, then you are a box that can be shaped and molded by someone else regardless of your purpose in life.  A happening is an instance of action, not a permanent fixture in life.  It happened or is happening, but you are BECOMING.  I know I am. LOL

My mom says finish your education.  She does.  I think that involves commitment, sacrifice, and will. What if I just stopped?  Would that be focused or not?  The point is there has to be something you can fall back on when life happens that keeps you going or you will be that jellyfish.  If you remain focused or committed, you will find that life will balance itself out, even when it is hard to sort things out.  Surround yourself with people of quality.  Surround yourself with people of purpose.  It's not a bad thing.  Control what you can.